Today I am ill. I'm at home all alone. Its very quite exept for the infrequent blurbs from the scanner. The scanner is creepy.
My tonsils are swollen to the size of tennis balls. I'm making soup. I figure I can eat anything non-solid, somthing that can come back up as easily as it went down. You would expect a tounge to be red right? Mine is white and covered with bacterious film-- I just thought I'd take the time to share that with you. k thanx bye

wow.. I have a headache. Its probably from reading JTHM for a couple of hours. Either that or I'm coming down with somthing. I feel like my heads been royally fucked with (Fornication Under Consent of the King). Or it could be because I stayed up late last night drawing with my permanent markers. Or because of sitting within three feet of the most annoyingly happy, loudmouth in the whole school. Or maybe my headache is from trying to calculate bowling scores in my head. Perhaps, my head hurts from trying to write that essay on affirmative action. Just thinking about all the things that strain my brain give me a headache.
---yeah I know, its not that interesting.--its a personal problem.
But I can't help marvelling at the wonderous amounts of tedious, insignificant crap that occupies my time.--My short life being filled with nothing but self-inflicted torture and busywork. God, I need to get out, talk to people, see the sunshine! *shrivels up like a forgotten banana in the darkest bowels of the refrigerator*

hmmm I think my brain is going to explode. I havn't blogged anything that I deem substantial in a long time. I think its because there are so many things i want to write but can't quite explain them. It wouldn't be such a problem if I knew where my Book of Hopeless Rants was. I'd really hate it if someone found it that wasn't me or one of my affiliated multiple personalities.
--Ah, well I guess I havn't anything better to do, I guess I'll just catch up on my ranting or raving.
Part I
Oooh last night, I watched W. make his State of The Union address on TV. Holy Jeez, I can't believe that guy is The Prez. Whenever I see that guy on the tellie, I'm in utter disbelief. That overgrown Keebler Elf is the head honcho of the U.S.? People actually voted for this guy? --Anyway, the whole speech things was one of the dumbest I've seen since PYC. After every sentence everyone stood up and clapped. I'm serious--after every sentence. I know I havn't seen any other State of The Union thingies and I'm really not sure if that is the way its always done, but...Holy Jeez. It really should be changed if thats the case. I couldn't concentrate on what BS The W. was trying to pass off as plans for building the glorious future of America. It was hard enough concentrating already, what with the president looking like a beedy-eyed circus monkey. See the funny monkey dance, everybody clap!
Part II
I hate it that everyone I know has a boyfriend or girlfriend. I especially hate it because they are so damn happy about it.
You say I'm jealous? Yeah, well, no shit. You say I'll never have a boyfriend? Yeah.... I'll have to go with another no shit.
I just feel kind left out, like I'm missing out on an experience. Dating in highschool, isn't that what normal people do?
Then you say, "well Naya, your not normal, and its not that important." Aye.. woe is me. My life is completly barren of the bounty of which you humans call "normal". Then you say: "you moron, go out and find a boyfriend!". Then I say, "yeah, I'm just gonna pull one outta my...(insert: hat, ass, hammerspace; here). Everyone already is going out with someone and there is nobody who could possibly have any interest in me.--Ah well, now if it sounds like I'm whining, I am. Its nothing that gets me down though. I can just as easily go back to ignoring it all.
Part III
I was really going to write somthing interesting here. I can't seem to remember what....

This Time
Woke up one other day
The pain won't go away
I am growing
In peculiar ways
Into a light I pass
Another dream, another trance
This time, this time
This time I'm gonna rise into the light
In or out of time

'Cause I know..
There is time.. The Verve
--I like The Verve, If you like depressing whiny musics than The Verve is for you too!--

I've been feeling slumpy, slacking off with my work, my chores, and commenting on my blog. Therefore I have resolved to spiffy things up. I know blogging isn't getting much done, oh well. It still gives me that fruitful productive feeling.

What swear word are you?
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Clorox: A Conspiracy?
subtitle: Clean White Sheep
Call me crazy but, have you noticed the surge in new bleach commercials springing up. Is it just my imagination or are there just more? I have the sneeking suspision that someones trying to brainwash me, but I just can't quite explain it.
When I first saw the "mama's got the magic of clorox bleach" I was a little bothered. I can't quite explain that. Maybe it was just a really stupid jingle ("mama's got the magic of a 'harmful if ingested'--potential 'eye and skin irritant"). Or the fact that Mama is a upper middle class, white, housewife with nothing better to do than obsessively wipe up the counters and smile.
(I'm still having trouble reaching you I figure)
Well I dunno... Its just kind of funny, making everything.. white. White housewife wiping counters and floors, in a white house with a white picket fence. Then the new ad campaign: "White Across America". Holy, Jeez.. Wanna know what I think?
I think that were being brainwashed with Good-All American Whiteness. Perhaps, TV viewers are being lulled into a "Leave It to Beaver" sense of mind. While a war is brewing... Perhaps, already underway... we won't panic as long as we have our comfy, 1950 somthing..security blanket.
I think that Mr. Government paid Mr. Commercialism to "White-out" America. Its truth that the Government paid producers and directors and such to make patriotic films and commercials and what-not.
--wow that all made me sound like some sort of 90's hippy feminist "down with the man" sort of thing. But the real point I'm trying to get to here, really doesn't have much to do with bleach. I just think that commercial brainwashing of the masses is a possiblity (MTV's TRL). I think that you should take the time to analyze a commercial. Who its marketed to...the bullshit they fill it with...
--I think perhaps this has been the most stupid thing I've ever writ.
Oh well, I think this is an interesting quote: "If were gonna be brainwashed, what better substance to do it with than bleach?"

Hey I have a question for anyone who reads my blog or just anyone in general.
The other day I was writing an essay about myself for an art contest type of thing. I had to explain my personality.
Writing what I thought of myself was easy, but I had a hard time writing how other people thought of me. I managed to finish it. But the question remains: "what the hell does everyone really think about me?"
I want you, my dear friends, to say what you REALLY think about me. I mean it. I promise I won't be upset if you call me a self-centered egotistical bitch. I need constructive criticism so I can develop into a better person. I'd rather hear, "your a bit annoying and redundant" than "oh, your...... nice." Elaborate as much as you like!

The dance was fucking awesome!!! I grinded fiercely with this tall, dark and handsome guy and I didn't even catch his name! He was so sweet and we talked for hours about stupid things that are universally unsubstantial. We went to the bathroom and got high and made out. Then we left the dance and went out spraypainting Coudersports finest examples of "victorianesque architecture". You might wanna check it out (That guy knows a little too much about yo mammas anatomy)
After that we got high again, I dyed my hair blue and got a tatoo of a pretty flower and I got my nose pierced. I went back to his place and we did the dirty dirty, got high and played playstation 2. He drove me home (outside of sheetz if I remember correctly) and kind of pushed me out of his shaggin wagon. I fumbled up the street, ( I think I was missing a shoe) and now I'm here.
I can't feel my feet, but all things aside, this was the best night of my life!

Not to copy Jerrica, Shaun or Xa but I'm gonna post my horoscope!!
Really its interesting and I'm sure you all give a damn!! It will reaveal my depest insecurities of my love life without compromising my image by actually going out and saying what I actually feel. I mean, If I really said how I feel people might think I'm crazy and then I'd have to hide indside my inner world and become a mechanical shell of what I once was. Well I better hurry up and post my horoscope. I'd really hate for people to get bored and leave me. PLEASE DON'T GO! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Sagittarius: November 22 - December 21
In your opinion, being normal is highly overrated right now. You embrace bizarre people or events that might confuse or outrage others. Impressing people isn't at the forefront of your mind and your friends and family members are somewhat taken aback by this strange, new behavior. Assure them that it won't last -- but that you intend to enjoy it while it does! Tonight you know genius when you see it at work. Find a way to make yourself useful in an avant-garde situation.

--OMG does that mean I'm going crazy!?!?! no no no.. *huddles in a corner* I'm going back to the OLD Naya.

Oh, I want to be mean, and spiteful and vindictive. I wanna mock shortcomings and weaknesses. I wanna kick mental ass, wanna scar and scathe and make one whimper inside. I want everyone to scream at me all "blasphemous!" "unscrupulus" "concited" "bitch". I couldn't though. If I said nasty things there is no way I would mean it. Though I'd really like to. I would like to....nrrrggg..
What keeps me from doing so is that I need friends, they are hard to come by and I can't afford to screw it all up. I also hate hurting people, because I've been hurt so often. I can't really think of anything hateful to say anyway. You disgusting slack-jawed hipocrite--see its stupid! I WANNA BE MEAN. but I'm a wuss... Hey! I can be mean to myself. Yeah that always works. I'm a dumb, motor-skill-deficient,organizationally-challenged, craterface, wannabe intellectual snob, who is disinclined to activity, mathematics, and shoe tying. The only place a person like me is useful is for is... well I can't think of anything. So much for being mean... *sigh*

Happy New Year! 2003! woo! I hope it doesn't suck! but if the shitty rain and sleety crap is an ominous foreshadowing of things to come then it will most definitly be a bummer dude.
I thought it only turned 2002 a couple months ago. Bloody hell, is my life passing me by? Yeah, I'm prolly to young to think about that crap...

~la laa la laa la laa~ I'm gonna attempt to compose a poem *ahem*

------Needs a Title----
.....that sad and pensive expression that you always see
is molded by my frequent slumps of unessisary anxiety
when I chant that pitiful, opressive mantra:"what will become of me?"
"what will become of me?"
is there another out there that feels as I do?
what if that "another" happened to be you?

You know there are cool people in the world. You ever wonder why they are called as such? You ever call someone cool becos they happen to like certain bands or they dress a certain way and have shiny cars, or loads of jewlry, or nice hair?
Well call me weird but, I don't seem to think that way. What if a persons house and garage and all their posessions were destroyed by a giant death robot and that person just happened to be cool? Would they still be as such?
I don't have a lot of things people would go "ooooooOOOhhhh ahhhhh" over. Do people think im not cool cause of my lack of shiny goodies?
What if you knew a boy or a gal that liked the exact same band or clothing line or *tazoo that you liked, and you fell head over heels in lust! Well! I know that music is a voice for the soul and people that listen to the same music might share the same ideas about it. Yeah its nice to have common interests. But, you know, musicians can be forgotten so easy after a while. (What ever happened to Ricky Martin?) What I mean is you can lose interest. Just like you lose interest in clothes that go out of style, tazoos that run amok, and even videogames that have been played out until they aren't fun anymore.
In my experience its been so exhausting keeping up the misguided collecting of new, popular things just for the sake of keeping up a relationship.
What if you had friends just because of the crap lying around your house and you didn't know it? What if you were constantly buying goodies to keep people around but you didn't know? What if collecting and hoarding was making you depressed and tired and you just aren't aware of it?Do you think that businesses might know that you "need" to buy to keep up your spiffy image? Do you think that people are being influenced to have shiny new this- and shiny new that? I dunno about you but....:: I nod a big yes::
Well I like to look at peoples personality. Its really the only thing that matters. I'm pretty tired of all of the "holier than thou" people walking about with their haute coture (fancy clothes) and having everyone think "oh she's so cool, she shops at abercrombie/hot topic/ evolution/Nothern Tier Childrens Home Thrift Shop of Genesee (lol))--When the person in question actually beats up his brother without the slightest provocation, or tells everyone without such blessings that they are less than dirt. Its all a lie.
There are some things in people that is worth much more that Guess jeans, spiked collars, Ruroni Kenshin posters, and PT Crusers.
For instance, I value: Friendship, Love, Understanding, Trust, Honesty, Loyalty, Sense of Humor, Intelligence, Bravery,Passion, Creativity, Spirituality, Hope, Kindness, Tolerance, Charity, Decency-- all traits of a persons personality.
If you were bored enough to actually read this, I hope you don't feel too preached at. I wrote this mostly to entertain myself. Though I hope you get somthing from it even if you had to read it upsidedown or between the lines. I just feel that people forget this kind of stuff and are going about everything all wrong. -----Okay, thats it, I'll let ya go.
*Tazoo- don't mind this word, It was made up by Bon.

Last night I had fun and I made a new friend. I played with Angela's ferret. He tried to eat my shoe. It also was sticking its head inside of a cup. Me and Xa thought that a ferret would be quite handy if you soaped up its head and scrubbed dishes with it. We sat around for a while and were completely immaure. I have another follower in the cult of Naya's feet. ya know its okay to love your feet but its not okay to LOVE your feet. Get what I'm saying. Oy.. I really hope you don't.
When we walked home it was icy and we had fun sliding around on our bellies in the dentist office's parking lot.

--Sapphire--

One perfect cut gem
stolen, but still free..
pretty, pocketed, sapphire
you sparkle just for me

Now, If ever lose you
to another clever theif
I will be angred bitterly
but still love you underneath

Because I'll always admire
your deepest,shining, shades of blue
If you were a real compainion
I'd hope you'd love me too. -Naya

Its pretty bad when one can say they hate weekends, but thats how I'm starting to feel. Everybody is off somewhere, 'cept the eternal queen of losers.
I'm feelin' bloody lonely.. but there isn't anyone around to care. Oh well..

....yeah I figure its pretty unpolite to say in front of your friends (that are boys) that you think so-and-so is hot (the so-and-so not included in your friends). It goes the same for boys. I know that girls do it all the time. "Oooh, Billy-Bob-Bojangles is the fucking hottest piece of man meat I ever laid eyes on, yum yum!!!" Usually guys don't say anything, but I know they get angry about it, boy, I know that well! But when guys say, "Amanda-Crystal-BoPeep is the fucking hottest--whatever--
girls get all defensive on the spot."GRRRROWL I'MA MAKE YOU WISH YOU NEVA LAID EYES ON THAT UGLY ASSED WHORE !$!@#@$#!!11one."
I'm sure you know how that all goes... so ya know.. don't do it, cause it makes people mad and it causes scenes...
Or for all of you special people who always have to do the opposite of what anyone tells you, do it, and do it alot.
oi! but I'm irrelevant!

hummm.. what should I post: cheesy song lyrics, rants about my perfect and wonderful boyfriend, all the fun things happened today, or reveal a shining facet of my hidden personality? well I think I'll post 'em all!
---wait a second....I have none of these things. Oh well, looks like this will be a short post.


What random GIR quote are you?
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Congratulations, you're a Drac, a seductive fae.
What kind of female faerie are you?
Take the female faerie quizby Paradox.

I just got done shuffling about at the dance. I love parish center dances only because they play really loud music. The bass feels marvelous pounding at ones back, making the heart knock at the ribs!
I left early because I felt out of place and that I was better than the dance-- OMFG Mr.DJ followed "Stairway to Heaven" by some song by Nellie-- I don't think thats legal!!!!! Anyway, I am a retard, and I danced like a fruit. So I suppose its best i retract my statment about being better than the dance. Even though the party wasn't "hoppin' " and I was being "special" and I left early,
I can't help feeling.. perhaps it was a fruitful experience none-the-less.... hmmm..