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Thursday, May 25, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
That's right. I'm only 20. Yeah, =) I'm just 20. I have a lot to learn, but things won't always be the same for me. It's easy to feel like time is passing me by what with everyone I know already having babies, getting married, engaged, and finding the man of their dreams, at this point in their lives. I've done some really stupid things. But I'm not an unsalvageble wreck. I'm only 20 I have a lot to learn.
But at the same time I don't want to underdissrepresent (just made up a word cause I can't think of the right word) the last 20 years of my life though. I've been through shit. I could have handled situations better, I can learn from the past.
I will be the best person I can possibly be, as I know how to be. I will stick to my values, I'll really think about what my values are. It is so important, I knew it all along. I must know my own heart and do the best I can for me. I feel kinda sad sometimes that I need a fire lit under my ass sometimes to get me going. I just knew all along what means the most to me.
I feel a little silly sometimes forgetting, but time, complaicency and misfortunes can make me forget what is most important to me. My momma says I'm too lackadaisical. Honestly if you woulda asked me what I would liked to be when I grew up when I graduated highschool I would have told you I wanna be a revolutionary. Haa Haaa HOO! Just how do you prepair youself for that kind of career choice!? Anyway, saying that, it is obvious that I desire to become a responsible person, an outgoing person, a challenging person. It's obvious to me that I've put off my own desires for way too long, its nobody's fault but mine. Though I can say circumstances have not been...they aren't the kind of circumstances that I can flourish in. I just have to get over that though, it feels like a very vast, obstacle, not having much opportunity in this town for employment, and being dirt poor all the time. I just have to get over it. I'll do my best with what I have.
But at the same time I don't want to underdissrepresent (just made up a word cause I can't think of the right word) the last 20 years of my life though. I've been through shit. I could have handled situations better, I can learn from the past.
I will be the best person I can possibly be, as I know how to be. I will stick to my values, I'll really think about what my values are. It is so important, I knew it all along. I must know my own heart and do the best I can for me. I feel kinda sad sometimes that I need a fire lit under my ass sometimes to get me going. I just knew all along what means the most to me.
I feel a little silly sometimes forgetting, but time, complaicency and misfortunes can make me forget what is most important to me. My momma says I'm too lackadaisical. Honestly if you woulda asked me what I would liked to be when I grew up when I graduated highschool I would have told you I wanna be a revolutionary. Haa Haaa HOO! Just how do you prepair youself for that kind of career choice!? Anyway, saying that, it is obvious that I desire to become a responsible person, an outgoing person, a challenging person. It's obvious to me that I've put off my own desires for way too long, its nobody's fault but mine. Though I can say circumstances have not been...they aren't the kind of circumstances that I can flourish in. I just have to get over that though, it feels like a very vast, obstacle, not having much opportunity in this town for employment, and being dirt poor all the time. I just have to get over it. I'll do my best with what I have.