~la laa la laa la laa~ I'm gonna attempt to compose a poem *ahem*

------Needs a Title----
.....that sad and pensive expression that you always see
is molded by my frequent slumps of unessisary anxiety
when I chant that pitiful, opressive mantra:"what will become of me?"
"what will become of me?"
is there another out there that feels as I do?
what if that "another" happened to be you?

You know there are cool people in the world. You ever wonder why they are called as such? You ever call someone cool becos they happen to like certain bands or they dress a certain way and have shiny cars, or loads of jewlry, or nice hair?
Well call me weird but, I don't seem to think that way. What if a persons house and garage and all their posessions were destroyed by a giant death robot and that person just happened to be cool? Would they still be as such?
I don't have a lot of things people would go "ooooooOOOhhhh ahhhhh" over. Do people think im not cool cause of my lack of shiny goodies?
What if you knew a boy or a gal that liked the exact same band or clothing line or *tazoo that you liked, and you fell head over heels in lust! Well! I know that music is a voice for the soul and people that listen to the same music might share the same ideas about it. Yeah its nice to have common interests. But, you know, musicians can be forgotten so easy after a while. (What ever happened to Ricky Martin?) What I mean is you can lose interest. Just like you lose interest in clothes that go out of style, tazoos that run amok, and even videogames that have been played out until they aren't fun anymore.
In my experience its been so exhausting keeping up the misguided collecting of new, popular things just for the sake of keeping up a relationship.
What if you had friends just because of the crap lying around your house and you didn't know it? What if you were constantly buying goodies to keep people around but you didn't know? What if collecting and hoarding was making you depressed and tired and you just aren't aware of it?Do you think that businesses might know that you "need" to buy to keep up your spiffy image? Do you think that people are being influenced to have shiny new this- and shiny new that? I dunno about you but....:: I nod a big yes::
Well I like to look at peoples personality. Its really the only thing that matters. I'm pretty tired of all of the "holier than thou" people walking about with their haute coture (fancy clothes) and having everyone think "oh she's so cool, she shops at abercrombie/hot topic/ evolution/Nothern Tier Childrens Home Thrift Shop of Genesee (lol))--When the person in question actually beats up his brother without the slightest provocation, or tells everyone without such blessings that they are less than dirt. Its all a lie.
There are some things in people that is worth much more that Guess jeans, spiked collars, Ruroni Kenshin posters, and PT Crusers.
For instance, I value: Friendship, Love, Understanding, Trust, Honesty, Loyalty, Sense of Humor, Intelligence, Bravery,Passion, Creativity, Spirituality, Hope, Kindness, Tolerance, Charity, Decency-- all traits of a persons personality.
If you were bored enough to actually read this, I hope you don't feel too preached at. I wrote this mostly to entertain myself. Though I hope you get somthing from it even if you had to read it upsidedown or between the lines. I just feel that people forget this kind of stuff and are going about everything all wrong. -----Okay, thats it, I'll let ya go.
*Tazoo- don't mind this word, It was made up by Bon.

Last night I had fun and I made a new friend. I played with Angela's ferret. He tried to eat my shoe. It also was sticking its head inside of a cup. Me and Xa thought that a ferret would be quite handy if you soaped up its head and scrubbed dishes with it. We sat around for a while and were completely immaure. I have another follower in the cult of Naya's feet. ya know its okay to love your feet but its not okay to LOVE your feet. Get what I'm saying. Oy.. I really hope you don't.
When we walked home it was icy and we had fun sliding around on our bellies in the dentist office's parking lot.

--Sapphire--

One perfect cut gem
stolen, but still free..
pretty, pocketed, sapphire
you sparkle just for me

Now, If ever lose you
to another clever theif
I will be angred bitterly
but still love you underneath

Because I'll always admire
your deepest,shining, shades of blue
If you were a real compainion
I'd hope you'd love me too. -Naya

Its pretty bad when one can say they hate weekends, but thats how I'm starting to feel. Everybody is off somewhere, 'cept the eternal queen of losers.
I'm feelin' bloody lonely.. but there isn't anyone around to care. Oh well..

....yeah I figure its pretty unpolite to say in front of your friends (that are boys) that you think so-and-so is hot (the so-and-so not included in your friends). It goes the same for boys. I know that girls do it all the time. "Oooh, Billy-Bob-Bojangles is the fucking hottest piece of man meat I ever laid eyes on, yum yum!!!" Usually guys don't say anything, but I know they get angry about it, boy, I know that well! But when guys say, "Amanda-Crystal-BoPeep is the fucking hottest--whatever--
girls get all defensive on the spot."GRRRROWL I'MA MAKE YOU WISH YOU NEVA LAID EYES ON THAT UGLY ASSED WHORE !$!@#@$#!!11one."
I'm sure you know how that all goes... so ya know.. don't do it, cause it makes people mad and it causes scenes...
Or for all of you special people who always have to do the opposite of what anyone tells you, do it, and do it alot.
oi! but I'm irrelevant!

hummm.. what should I post: cheesy song lyrics, rants about my perfect and wonderful boyfriend, all the fun things happened today, or reveal a shining facet of my hidden personality? well I think I'll post 'em all!
---wait a second....I have none of these things. Oh well, looks like this will be a short post.


What random GIR quote are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Congratulations, you're a Drac, a seductive fae.
What kind of female faerie are you?
Take the female faerie quizby Paradox.

I just got done shuffling about at the dance. I love parish center dances only because they play really loud music. The bass feels marvelous pounding at ones back, making the heart knock at the ribs!
I left early because I felt out of place and that I was better than the dance-- OMFG Mr.DJ followed "Stairway to Heaven" by some song by Nellie-- I don't think thats legal!!!!! Anyway, I am a retard, and I danced like a fruit. So I suppose its best i retract my statment about being better than the dance. Even though the party wasn't "hoppin' " and I was being "special" and I left early,
I can't help feeling.. perhaps it was a fruitful experience none-the-less.... hmmm..

What Spooky Being are You?



You are a vampire.

What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

---Don't Say You Want Me---Depeche Mode--
I'm going to take my time
I have all the time in the world
To make you mine
It is written in the stars above
The gods decree
You'll be right here by my side
Right next to me
You can run, but you cannot hide

Don't say you want me
Don't say you need me
Don't say you love me
It's understood
Don't say you're happy
Out there without me
I know you can't be
'cause it's no good

I'll be fine
I'll be waiting patiently
Till you see the signs
And come running to my open arms
When will you realise
Do we have to wait till our worlds collide?
Open up your eyes
You can't turn back the tide

Don't say you want me
Don't say you need me
Don't say you love me
It's understood
Don't say you're happy
Out there without me
I know you can't be
'cause it's no good

I'm going to take my time
I have all the time in the world
To make you mine
It is written in the stars above

Don't say you want me
Don't say you need me
Don't say you love me
It's understood
Don't say you're happy
Out there without me
I know you can't be
'cause it's no good

----------such a mawkish song---but I've been stuck on it for days.
I wonder if anyone knows what it is to hear such a, odd and/or old and/or strange and/or icky and/or stupid, song
and love it anyway because its tied to some lovely memory, or feeling that you can't describe... I dunno
whoa... I think that sounds like my life.. "an icky song":me, and "a lovely memory or feeling attached": being everything that makes up for me being icky. Which explains why a few, select, special, people like me...
or I'm just crazy and need sleep

Tomorrow is my birtday, but today I already got a card from my best friends and I got some M&M's and a panda/babydoll keychain from another best friend. Thank you all very much! =)

I've just figured that Its just ever soo much easier to write about things you hate that what you love. I wonder if thats true for everyone, or am I just crazy?
I think I'm gonna try and get into the spirit of the seasons by writing about nice things......
*gag* now that just sounds so... *gag* pleasant... I'll try and choke it down...

Things I FUCKING HATE!!!!!! MYAAArgghhooooorrrpppppipoooo!!!!
1. bob the drama queen
2.coldness, winter, icy toilet seats, cold floors
3.@$*@@$#@ING!!!! deadlines!
4. school projects
5. forgetting stuff
6. the dog
7. I hate people I hate!!!
8. when my socks don't fit
9. when my pants are too tight
10. when I have to pee really bad and I'm standing in line
11. sour chocolate milk is the fucking nastiest smell in the world
12. other peoples snivling problems ex: "Bon wont get out of the bathroom when I command her, though I know I could have gotten up earlier, but no! I am king and what I say goes"
13. tests
14. FRIKKIN EYE PICTURES
15. EYE PICTURES W/LUGUBRIOUS POEMS!!!!!!
16. Goddam Mondays
17. Mondays during the winter, when I have to deal with bob's shit, my clothes dont fit, I have a deadline on a school project, and when I get to school I forget the project at home, and I have a test I didn't study for because I was working on my project and I have to stay in class late to finish flunking it up and I get in the long lunchline and have to pee but can't or I'll have to wait in line again and all thats left in the milk cooler is the dented chocolate milk cartons that just happen to contain sour, chunky milk and then I have to 5 minutes to eat, after which I go and endure the rest of the boring, educationally unfullfilling schoolday, then go home and have the stupid dog jump up on me, or find puddles of piss on the floor, but I ignore it all and go to the computer and try to find some half-decent posts on the oekaki board but all I see are those stupid fucking n00b eye pictures with stupid poems........
blargh... oh well...

myarr.. where are you my darling? Better question: where am I?
Oh I miss you so!! (in a pityful, whiny dog howling voice) RAAAAAAUUUUU RAAAAAUUUUUU RAAAAAAAUUUUU......
I hope you havn't forgotten about me, My Love!!!! *dies*
*un-dies* I'm missin ya Joey.....

La la la... Its so much fun living at my house, somthing died in the furnace duct thingies and smellies are blowing all over the house. Another annoyance is bob. He took up the guitar and he plays is so loud... and so bad, over and over and over and over. When bob is not playing, his other favorite passtime is telling everyone how utterly useless they are and how they should do everything perfectly the way he would do it. (I think he's an angry boy and needs to get counciling).
I love how people are constantly calling (not for me) but I always have to get up and answer them and say "yeah, bob's here and he's jerking off, call back a li'l later". Then there is that poor, stupid animal buster who is infested with fleas and is neurotic and must bite himself constantly. Doing dishes at the darrin house is one of the most fun things in the universe. There are so many dishes it drives me crazy. I know we have way too many but I can get rid of them. I hate dishes, doing them depresses me so bad. Momma, if you read this pleeaase please can we rid of or just hide some dishes, BLAAAAARGH!!!! IT DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!!!
The accumulation of "stuff" like dishes is seriously out of control, at least in my opinion. There are soo many books, shoes, cleaning products, clothes, and miscillaneous shit that I can't understand why we keep. Feh...

"Congratulations, ZeeBubbleFish!
Your IQ score is 122 "
"...we can tell your Intellectual Type is an Insightful Linguist."
yep thats me...

------Alone-----
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were--I have not seen
As others saw--I could not bring
My passions from a common spring--
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow-- I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone--
And all I lov'd--I lov'd alone--
Then--in my childhood--in the dawn
Of a most stormy life--was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still--
From the torrent, or the fountain--
From the red cliff of the mountain
From the sun that round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold--
From the lighting of the sky
As it pass'd me flying by--
From the thunder, and the storm--
And the cloud the took the from
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view--

Edgar Allan Poe

I feel like shit... complete shit...
why??...

----Heartsick----
Pretty girl waiting for a kill
Smile full of malace, heartbreak is her thrill
Your precious affection
Cannot sheild you from her deception
Her eyes unblink as she belts out lies
Only you fall for it- raise your hope to the skies
Believe until she finds other happiness
In her scramble to fill the emptiness
Truth decays, and from her detatchment seeps
Cold, Ruthless lies-- the unhappy end
Her malevolence engulfs you, ------------------------------------and haunts you in your sleep

Its Friday night and everyone in the world is at the dance. I bet somthing really fucking awesome or funny happens as always does when I'm not there. I didn't wanna go because I just don't feel jiggy when i don't have any real clique to dance with and I'm like the oldest person there.When the dance ends I go home and I get deserted and its no fun to do nothing after doing everything. And there are always people harshing my mellow (lol) with their damn soap operas... boo friggin hoo...
I'm just gonna sit here and be content doing nothing on nothing.

------Hunger------
You are so sweet, ever so smooth
Oblivious to my consuming adoration.
Great and creamy, calling my passion,
Until I call you to feed my appetite
Repose in a cold chamber
Tried and true, I hunger for you

With all of the new bloggers being created and linked every which way, I'm starting to feel like an insignificant name in a huge pile. Bleh... but that doesn't matter. I think its really fantastic that more people around here are getting blogs. Everyone can display what they really feel about shit, once the've had time to think it over. Things can come out more clearly and truthfully when you don't have to stare people in the face. Perhaps... that might not be a good thing... but, anyway.. its getting people connected....

someone once asked me what the goal of my life is, and this is what I told him: "I want to be a great artist, a good person, happy, and I want to live a long life with someone I love."
Isn't that nice!

weeee heeee! I finally solved the Ice Manor puzzle in Alundra. It probably doesn't mean much to you, but I was so happy I almost shat myself! God, I must be stupid, I must have tried the same pattern 80 times but I missed just one little move. It was so damn easy!

I can't say that trying to "fix things" for people has ever worked at all, at least in my experience. You just can't say a few magic words or do things that will just make it all go away. I know i've really tried to help people out by doing things but.. thats just not the way it works. Most peoples problems, their heartaches, can't be changed by fighting their enemies, can't be changed by fighting someone elses battles.They wont learn anything if you do and say everything for them. Sometimes meddling with peoples troubles just makes everything worse.
The best thing you can do for your friends is just be there for them. Listen to what they have to say. You don't have to be brave for them, just be there, on their level and remind them that you are a friend and that they can confide in you.

I did a little updating on my geocities page, check out my page of friends.

Today I went to visit Alfred College, which wasn't too impressive. Though, I liked that It was on top of a mountain; it had a nice view, and it was kind of pretty when it snowed. But the buildings themselves were a disgusting example of modern architecture. You know; those kinds of buildings that have disgusting brown tile floors, a lack of ornamentation, sickly green colored walls, and poor ventalation.
I wonder why so many building s were built to look modern back in the 60's or 70's or whenever.. It doesn't look modern. I't looks like baby shit. Anyway.. I'm ranting, I should save that for the main event of my blog, which just so happens to be of the assembly we had today.
You probably have heard my rants about Penn-York Camp (if you havn't your probably should, I think they're pretty damn entertaining). Well those darling people have touched my life again with a presentation that will shape my life for years to come! *sarcasm* Those little skits were so well written, and performed I'm sure it changed the minds of every student that witnessed it *sarcasm*.
In all actuality I couldn't really understand what the hell those people were talking about. Though I did get a very clear picture that, even before they annouced they were affiliated with the camp, they were christians. One reason I could tell this is because their skits lacked reasons for why the things they did were wrong. What I mean is, through the whole thing I had a feeling that they cut out biblical ideology (ideas from the bible about good and bad) so they could present it to the school without violating any laws. Another reason is that if they weren't trying to impress watered down ideology on us ("be pure because being pure will benifit your life. Be pure just because."), they sure as hell didn't give us any facts. I'm sure if they weren't penn yorkers they would have supported their ideas about being pure with some real world facts about health and statistics about people dying; some real hard hitting stuff. The last thing is, that they rambled. This was a dead giveaway because they gave testimonials, like "witnesses to the lord" almost the exact same style i had heard in my brief penn-york chapels. They rambled on an on "Being pure will save you, being pure will..blah blah blah..". Just like the witnesses I had heard at camp "Believe in Jesus, accept him as your only savior and you will be saved," repeat 30x.
I'm not saying though, that christians are bad or stupid or anything like that. I'm trying to rip on those god awful penn-yorkers. They can't organize any damn ideas and present them in a way that we can accept or understand or even pay attention to. Like I said in my last rant about PYers is that they rant until their message becomes obscured.
(Though I can't claim that my writing is getting any real point across; I believe that if people are gonna take it upon themselves to make a change in everyones life, they should at least have real facts, ideas, and stories to present.)
I think that the whole assembly was terrible. The acting was poor, the writing was poor, and it looked like it was organized in 30 minutes.The skits were ambigous and confused the messages(its not okay to drink use, drugs or have sex, but It sure is hell funny to beat up your friends). The only thing that almost redeemed it was the people testifying about there own experiences, but they didn't say much that was relevant to their ideas of purity, and again: their skits confused it all.
Near the end of the assembly I was going mad, the man on stage was blabbering and I just about screamed "wrap it up you dumb fuck". I can only take so much relentless branding of ideas on to my mind! Especially when they are preaching to the choir.
I'm not gonna say I'm all snow white pure, but I do abstain from drugs, sex, and other things that could incriminate me, or make me otherwise smelly. I do it for real reasons too, not because jesus wants me to or because "its just a good idea", but because this is a dangerous world and I'm not the kind of person who could easily handle consequences of fucking around with stuff.

After I had excaped the grip of the evil slave driver Bon, I stalked about the night with Christa. It was really cold and there wasn't anything to do so we went home. Then I saw a crowd of hyper candy zombies and I followed them. I ran around and I didn't get too cold. I even did some trick-o-treating, as ashamed as I might be of saying that. I think that everyone I was running with was more anxious to get to the candy than some little kids. I don't think I've ever seen Cue-Ball (formerly known as Matt) run so much.
I had a pretty good time...

Whats different about me? Why are you worrying about me?
I knew that I wasn't exactly whirling about like my usual self.. but when you asked about me I got kinda scared.
Do you think there is really somthing wrong with me? If its about my poems I don't mean anything I say about dying or cuting myself up. I think thats all really awful. I just was curious about it all and just spit out things I've heard people say. I thought It might make them think about what they are saying and how it scares me. I guess I've been going about it all wrong...
Anyway, with the way people were asking about me. I wondered if there is somthing wrong. I wrote about all the stuff that bothered me last night, and it did make me feel better. I filled about 4 or 5 pages.

damn........

..... Sentiments From a Poor Boy ...
Friend, when we are together life is good
Under starry skies we held each other close
Can we go back? When I'm with you I feel free
Killing me inside..The Only Hope In Me
Only you are precious
Friend, how could you say you love me
Friend, how could you turn bad...ignore me
Bleeding with the pain, a scar you tore inside
I won't leave you now, life without you is lonely
Tears fall, what dries them is only your beauty
Can our love be the same? Can we begin today?
How can I find the words I long to say?......

CUT
--cut cut cut..
you would know if you had tried
to release the sickness sealed inside
somthing new to make you feel alive
--cut cut cut...
hating every day
and growing insane
a rush to hide your wakeining pain
to obscure the scars that "healed in time"
somthing warm makes you remember you are alive
can't resist, but...
you must
--cut cut cut cut cut cut cut
and from your wounds flows
only blood
no clumps of clotted long lost love
spots of red to cover the tears
that fell on your pillow.
--cut cut cut
as much as your will shall allow
let it all out now
bleeding warm and wet
a rush through the blood you let
-- cut cut cut cut cut cut cut
has it lost its meaning yet?

yay... relentless boredom, its gonna kill me. I stayed up until 1 am playing with neopets for god's sake! someone save me!!!
The dance sucked.
I look at dances like some awful melodramatic three act play. I can sit in the dark corner and watch everyone shyly advance on the dance floor. Then I see them make their plans form their circles and put things into motion. After that things go downhill; somebody pays a little too much attention to somebody elses bf or gf. Finnally things fall apart or you see some girl crying in a corner ( a staple of junior high dances) the dancers recede from the dance floor.
Your probably thinking I need a life. Yeah, I know, I'm a social failure. Yet, it doesn't bother me, I'm used to it...I guess.

Suicide System: Only a Test
My life is filled with misery, I have nothing left to live for, and nobody fucking loves me.
I hope my life ends tonight. I hope the burden of my life will be lifted, that this usless chore of exisitance will be terminated.
My life's a mess, its all screwed up. Nothing fits in its place, it all falls apart.
Theres a bleeding gap in my mind and heart. I can't do anything right.
Tonight, I'll tell you this with all so perfect certainty. Tommorrow, I'll deny it.
Hey, everyone else is doing it..so why can't I.
In all truth I don't care to die, but the simpathy that it brings is simply delicious.
The strain that it causes you is heavy and malicious.
Welcome smiling skull man, take me now to hell!
I know the living will be there as well, as soon as I'm gone...
But this is just a test, It will pass over tonight
You can come see me smile in the morning light.

(note to self-- never publish "free-form poems" ever again)

So I've been asked, and also because I feel like being a copycat; I'll tell ya what songs I'd put on the soundtrack of my life.
and Just to show off I'll put them in chronoligical order!!!!
Take on Me- A ha!
All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down- The Mavericks
Heart Shaped Box- Nirvana
My Baby's got a secret-Madonna
You Oughta know
Ironic- Alanis
Killing Me softly- Fugees
I Want You- Savage Garden
Tubthumper- Chumbawamba
More Than This-The Cure
X-Files Theme-The Dust Brothers
Special
Push It
Temptation waits-Garbage
Black- Sarah McLachlan
Thank U- Alanis
Nothing Really Matters-Madonna
Better Than it was- Fastball
Nothing New
I'm Not Sorry, I was Having fun- Chumbawamba
White Reflection- Gundam Wing
Runaway- Sugar Ray
Porcelain
Why Does my heart feel so bad?- Moby
Mi Na Soko Ni Nemure- Blue Sub 6
Crawling- Linkin Park
Wonderwall- Oasis
Gone- Madonna
In The End- Linkin Park
Highway To Hell-Marilyn Manson
You Owe Me Nothing in Return- Alanis
Gravity- Gorrilaz
Unfinished Simpathy- Massive Attack
Oridnary World- Aurora
Sandstorm- Darude
Endless Sorrow- Ayumi
Welcome 2000!- Di Gi Charat
Outta My Head- Kylie Minogue
Us and Them
The Wall- Pink Floyd
May It Be-Enya
The Perfect Drug-NIN
That pretty much concludes the list. Its pretty big but still had to edit it a little. What lies before you isn't what represents my life now but almost the entirety of it. Take on Me all the way to My baby's got a secret is my childhood. You oughta know to Tubthumper is the good ol' days when I spent all day at Xa's hanging out and jumping on the trampoline. The next is the days of My X-files obsession (More than this and X-Files them) then to the bad ol' days during the transition from elem. to Highschool ( Special-I'm not Sorry). Then it goes through to my obsession with my internet friends (Whit Reflection- Highway to Hell) and the annoyance that caused. Lastly, it goes into now, where I'm pretty happy and content with things.
All of my life wrapped into a neat package tied with a string. Fantastic!!!

yay.. everyone in the world is at homecoming. But I ain't complaining! I had a fruitful night going to the movies with my friends. That seems more fruitful than any other alternative. I hope the people who went come back alive, and with everything intact.

Homecoming weekend....wheee......
Three day weekend-- WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Seasons Ayumi Hamasaki
This year, another season has passed.
Memories have become faded.
The border between my vague dream and
reality has become blurred.

Even so, the dream I once told you of
had not a single lie in it.
La La-i

Today was fun,
and tomorrow will surely be fun as well.
"These days will continue forever,"
or so I thought at the time.

Throughout the endless days I felt
as if something was missing.

I blamed it on these unnatural times,
and just gave up.
La La-i
Today was very sad,
and even if I cry tomorrow,
someday the time will come that I can laugh
and remember the time we had together.

How much time must pass by,
in this finite existence of ours?
We'll live in the now,
and what will we find?

OMG this morning was so rough for poor prince bob! Everyone was already up and someone was in the bathroom before him. Poor bob, my sister was soooo foolish to get in there before him, she should know that the world stops for bob! He can get anything and do anything whenever he wants because the universe is centered around him. Bon sure messed up the order of things. I'm glad bob came around to inforce his self appointed rules of the household. Without him, I'm sure our family would fall apart!!
My mother was such a fool, she is asked bob why he didn't get up when his alarm went off. But bob simply replied it wasn't on, and that people should know that he needs his his time in the bathroom and he needed to leave. Far be it from me to critcise the prince, but it sounds to me like a personal problem.
Then while my sister was washing her hair bob tore through the kitchen looking for food. My sister had poured the last bowl of cocoa crispies and it was sitting on the counter. He screamed to my mom that it wasn't fair, that she couldn't obtian the last bowl by pouring it out and leaving it there while she did her business. He told my mom that he was going to eat it because he could. My mother, being the anarchist she is told the prince "no!". Then he sullenly poured himself some honey nut cheerios.... poor prince bob... if i had the last bowl of cocoa crispies I would surely give it to him....in the face...

My blog is so boring, It needs imagination. The sad fact is though, that I have no imagination on account of it has been strangled by going to school. I have to think logically all day..... nnnnnrgg... oh well...

Today was Extended Breakfast Day. The only thing I ate today was breakfast foods. I didn't bother getting dressed in my public pants and I just sat around bein' lazy. I did however, go to JCPenny's and get myself some new bras, yay!!!! Yet..there was no real purpose and no higlight of the day... it was just a day that happened and now its night.....

Today I went to the little school for an open house. It brang back a whole bunch of happy childhood memories (sarcasm...)!!!!!
I was totally jipped when I was in elementary school. There are spiffy computers, and the rooms are deacorated fantastically and it seems like the learning material is more advanced. I bet those damn toadstool spores are smarter than me!!! God I hate little kids!!!

::Listening to "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode::
Religion is a wrench thrown in the gears of the machine of human advancements. This "wrench" I think, has been thrown by the earliest of early men, cave men perhaps, and still causes human development to grind to a screeching halt, whenever holy wars are fought, or religious ethics get in the way of scientific development.

Today when I was in the bathroom making myself pretty, Bon alerts me that there is a fungus among us. In the crack between the bathtub and the linolium was a small brown mushroom growing out of the mildew. A mushroom growing in the bathroom! I almost cried, but I couldn't help laughing at the stupid thing. It was a pitiful thing, it had been bent over from someone stepping on it. This mushroom is a testiment to the filthyness of my house and how long its been since I've cleaned the bathroom. It makes me feel guilty that I hardly do anything around here. It also makes me feel kinda sad 'cause it reminds me how I just let things go to spoil and ruin sometimes. But I laugh at the little mushroom because its just a little mushroom trying to make it in the big world, its kinda cute in a way and it is kind of weird that it happen to grow inside of my house. I think I've learned some kind of lesson from the mushroom but I don't think I wanna ponder over it for too long, cause I'll start thinking I'm a nut.

I have figured the biggest bastard I know, is my own brother. Though I do not think he is worthy of being my brother. He is inconsiderate, pigheaded,hypocritical assinine, anal retentive, sefish spoiled brat with the sense of justice of a 5 year old. He takes every little occurance in the house and blows it way out of proportion. He won't listen to anyone but himself and always has to get the last word even if it means, spitting in your face and pushing you down and kicking you. He is 15 years old and can't controll himself. He is always looking for someone to blame for problems that he can deal with himself. He complains that he can't bring a girl over to the house because it is filthy, but does no housework whatsoever, does not even try to make an effort around here. He walks around the house, (that majestic prince!) and orders everyone about like they are mentally incompetant. If he could only see how stupid an childish he is.
Last night i was endeavoring to finish my history project, when prince bob graced me with his presence! He ordered me to get off the computer so he could use ICQ. Well its been established that homworks takes priority over ICQ time. But prince bob just breaks into a chorus of "you should have started earlier" "print out the information and write it down" "your a retard and your doing everything wrong" perhaps it would seem like anyone would say that but he says it 30 times. Every 2 minutes "you should have started earlier" and repeated the sequence for about 2 hours, in a deadly tone of voice. What in the hell is so important that he has to tell his gay buddies that he can't pick up a phone and say....

Today sucks, I am extremly bored and I have so many things to do. I've gotta clean my room and I've gotta do a stupid project for social studies and for english and biology. Its like 100% humidity inside of my house, I can hardly breathe because the air is liquid...
Xa has been kidnapped by a gang of conservative christians...
I miss my man-muse... I hope I see him again soon....
The only good thing that has come out of today is the rain....

How dumb are you?

The other day I had come to the realization that my life is boring. I can sum my life up into one word, and that word is boring. I realized that one of my only joys in life is to make people love me or fall in love. Well of course you probably say that thats everybody's joy- yet still... My methods of going about this business can be questionable, especially to myself. I use manipulation, pity, black magic (everything but lie!) all to ensnare victims in my love trap. Aye, but its not a trap, I'm chasing my victims! The one joy of my life, my most favorite hobby, is chasing what I want. Though, the kill sometimes is so.. dissapointing..
Oh look at me now, ranting like a crazy person! What I mean to say is that without boys to run after, I have nothing else to do, nothing interesting at all to occupy my time... If my life were a book, no one would want to read it. It would be dull and redundant..
I've done nothing tremendous, I've never contributed to anything and I can't say that I'm very intelligent or witty..and chasing after boys just isn't getting me anywhere.-I'm not saying that I'm going to give up on chasing my dreams but I think I'm going to stop being evil and manipulative and actually build a good relationship with somone. I know a specific person too, who I love very much and cannot chase nor, kill. He is like a bird, with bright plumage. He flys around in the bright blue sky and blesses me with his beauty. He should be guarded by an angel in heaven with the softest touch and most tender care.
Oy! behold I am rambling again! But, when It comes right down to It.. I guess I'll never be able to stop myself from being a love fool.
I guess the topic sentence of this rant is all wrong... what it's about is more on the boycrazy side than on the fact that my life is boring.
I suppose, that the very top sentece should read " My life is boring because I spend all of my time being boycrazy" No doubt I have bored you, if, perchance you had actually had the time to read this entire rant. If you have, in all actuallity,been bored by this rant, you have had but a small taste of the merciless boredom that is my life.
And now, after typing all of this nonsense I have come to another conclusion,(a rather pointless conclution, but a conclusion no less!)and I will use this conclusion as the very last sentence in this rant, which will read:
"Eating a half-gallon of French Roast Coffee Ice cream, will make you rant about some very fucked up shit indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its crazy what people do when there obsessed with someone. They can really distort their lives. Xa sez that some girl is cutting herself up over some guy. That is just fucking insane, it gives me the chills when I think about it. That girl must be mentally imbalanced and obsessed. If I were the guy, and I knew about what that girl was doing, I would shit myself!!! I know how it is to have crazies obsessed with me, though they never cut my name into their wrists (at least that I know of). They collected huge picture collages of me, openly told me about "dishonoring the goddess" while thinking about me, and some other questionable things. All that stuff gives me the creeps, but if I had a crazy that was cutting theirself over me I'd keel over and die....

The gates of Heaven opened, as the angels sang a golden melody. Then, the Trap Door of Hell swung open, and an icy breeze blew up from below! Hell froze over, and Naya updated her blog!!!!!!!

god damnit...

yay... back to the prison of my soul... AKA School
The good thing is I have a few classes that I like and friends in most of my classes.

I can't update, because I have nothing on my mind.. at all.. usually I think a great deal, but recently I just havn't been able to put anything interesting togther. Its probably because I havn't been outside my house in days.
Thank jeebus I'm going to Ithica!
ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mi Na Soko Ni Nemure
.....Sleeping Deep Inside Everyone

Setsunaku ayamii
Anata no toiki ni
Sweet whisper (Akaretai)
Loves sweet touch (Mitaretai)

Your dangerous sigh that
almost breaks my heart...
Sweet whisper (I want to embrace you)
and love-sweet touch (I want to go mad)

Susarei de lullaby
Eien lullaby
Come whisper me
and touch me
Tokimeki wa ren'ai
Kotoba wa ren'ai
Whisper now

That whispered lullaby...
That eternal lullaby...
Come whisper to me
and touch me.
The beating of my heart is passion
Words are passion
Whisper now.

I havn't been doing anything lately that would be the slightest interest to anyone.
Though, I hope to get off my ass and do somthing interesting before vacation is over and I have to go back to prison.

You Are a Henna Gaijin!

You're not Japanese, but you wish you were!

You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji.

You even answer your phone "moshi moshi."

While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope.

Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.



What's *Your* Japanese Subculture?

Its nice to spend so much time with ones friends. I think though, I should spend more time with more people individually... but its kind of hard when you have so many good ones...

. . . What is my spectrum? I am green: My main color is green. I like to have fun and comfort. Happiness is the marker of a great life. . What is my spectrum?

target="new">
border=0>


Who’s YOUR Rocky Horror Alter-Ego?

Find out now! Only from href="http://quizjunkie.tripod.com">the Quiz Junkie

I like pointless things. They are fun. Doing pointless things requires no forethought. You don't even need to think about pointless things when you are done doing them because they are pointless. If you think about pointless things after you have done them, you can't get much out of it because if it were truly pointless then you would probably not have learned anything from it.
--I'm gonna stop typing now because this is pointless...

I was watching this show about creepy dark holes (Secret Passageways) and I saw the places that Christians used to hide from the Romans which persicuted them for their religion. Which gives me a theory about the cycle of a religion (but I'll get to that in a little bit)The Romans sure did have a lot of power, and used it to enforced their ideas of gods upon the commoners--or else!! As we all know, Rome fell and the world fell into stupidity because of inner turmoil and such.
Well then, christians were the only really educated people left so they built churches and other things.Christians, seeing that they are not being oppressed anymore, regroup and become powerful. As we all know, power can be corrupting. Christians go on their little crusaides or inquisitons and persicute other religions. They went from the persicuted from the persicutors. A thousand years or so later, they are still up and running-----but for how long?
As I see it Christianity could follow a path much like the beliefs of the Romans:
1. A fledgling religion is developed to help people understand the facts of the universe
2. I undergoes adversity by some religion that is bigger and more powerful
3. It hides and waits for the time when the last religion dies out
4. It takes the place of the dead religion and gains power (and thinks its all that cause its top dog now)
5. It becomes corrupted and beats a new fledgling religion.
are you understanding what I'm saying?
I'm reminded of this sketch I saw on Kids in The Hall where it was 1000 years in the future and there was a really big new religion in whicheveryone worshipped this guy that wore a towel and a rock that fell from the heavens hit him on the head.
It made me think that Christianity could die out like any other belief system. Like the Egyptian beliefs or Zoroastrianism or the Romans. Who knows it may be gone tomorrow.....
----yeah I know..... I need to get a life.....

I think, perhaps, that collecting happy memories is the best thing that you can collect. As you get older you can always look back on the better times, or times that have shaped your life, or changed it for the better. But sometimes you can forget the good stuff, and somtimes we don't have any happy memories, Thats all really sad.. but thats not what this is about.
If you died, and assuming you had an afterlife, wouldn't be wonderful to have your memory collection with you? 'Cause in your after life you can't take anything with you. But you can have as many memories as you can hold.You never see ghosts flying off with color TV's do ya?
Anyway, in your afterlife you have all of your memories. I think that a good memento of your time on earth would be music. Even in life music is good because you can sing your favorite song to yourself whenever you want, even if you are dirt poor you can sing a song that reminds you of the better times....
Another good memory would be stories. If you had a crappy life you could always look back on books you've read or stories you've heard. They could keep your mind entertained for a while...
I can't think of anything else to say, and I'd better stop before I get too irrelevant....

My Romance Meter

Optimist 80% . . 20% Cynic Close 77% . . 23% Distant Long Term 82% . . 18% Brief

What does my romance meter read?

I had fun today, christa, shaun, james, and I were being retards....
We all had our blood pressures taken at buchannans and the machine almost killed my arm...
Shaun and Christa drank soggy crakers in kool-aid...
James, Christa and I, made fart noises by blowing on our arms, that thoughly entertained my momma...
we chucked rocks at ghosts and a streetlight.
we pranced all over dirt piles in the dark, and Christa made an obscene shadow puppet

Sound Soul

Are you prepping yourself for sainthood? Your karma is so squeaky-clean that it would take 100 lifetimes of bad behavior to tarnish it! Maybe you're an old, old enlightened soul. Maybe you were positively wretched in a past life, and have paid your karmic dues. Or maybe you're a Chosen One. Either way, you're karma rocks in this lifetime and will in the next, too.

Karma Quiz




cold.. or are you?

Find out what bishonen you are.





Which Final Fantasy Character Could YOU Be Having Sex With?

Find out now! Only from the Quiz Junkie

ahhh yes.... a nice, easy, blog. Nothing too heavy to think about.... no opressive literary baggage.. just easy reading.
Why don't we all lie back and sip a nice refreshing beverage of our choice and read this light blog. Like a gentle spring breeze blowing into your living room, this blog will fill your senses with freshness! Like quick dip into the cool water of a lake on a hot day... will sooth your body and soul! Why don't we close our eyes (kind of hard to read with you eyes closed eh?)and dream of a happy place, like the cool, relaxing evening after a sunshiny day full of laughter and friends. ahhh yes... this nice, light, blog has been quite an experiance......
--its probably the most retarded thing I've ever written

You are Laguna! Although you're way too shy with the opposite sex, you've got a heart of pure gold. You're a good leader and well liked by those who know you. Most of your friends look to your good sense when they need advice. Take the Final Fantasy 8 Test here!

Adorable

Find out what anime character cliche you are.





take the butt quiz.


and go to mewing.net. why not visit the site of someone who made a quiz about butts?

Heres a breif explaination of what I did at camp:
I wake up at 7 every morning. I get sheparded to the mess hall.I go to breakfast which was for the most part, slimy, soggy and/or unedible. My cabin peeps get together and study a manditory bible lesson. Then its off to play volleyball, soccer, swim, crafts or whatever. Then we have chapel. I FUCKING HATED CHAPEL!!!!! Ahem... They made us listen to a speaker talk about how jesus changed his/her life. Then we sang songs, that all were about jesus. Then we prayed, and prayed.... and prayed....Untill the congregation got frustrated. Then we were excused to lunch. The lunches were kind of wimpy, and still as soggy as breakfast, and worst of all, perfectly balanced...
After lunch my daily stomach ache begins, as well as some more "fun" activities.
We got to swim sometimes, when we went to the pool we had to have a cover up. A cover up consisted of a t-shirt that covered our suits completly. I dun think it was really fair 'cause guys din have to cover up. hn... everyone being all christainy, didn't stop me from gawking at teh menz hard bodies =)
Then I had to go to dinner, which was also pathetic... then I play some games with my stomach killing me. Then I go to the best part of the day which is evening chapel. There was a different speaker each night, I must admit they were entertaining and had alot of thought provoking things to say, but then they began to ramble on and on. There speeches were all so long winded and there original messages became obscure and I lost what they were saying after a while. Then, after the speeches, they asked people to come up if they accepted jesus as their personal savior. One night the alter call was hours long... It went on and on... on and on........on and on opn and on....over and over....over and over...on and on....over and over..blah blah blah.... (kind of like this blog,eh?)....and on and on...... I think some people went up there out of frustration, to see if it would stop if there were enough people up there. My councilor asked me "Naya do you want to be a Christian?" I says "no" she says, "are you sure?"......
I have sat through 4 never ending alter calls...I have admitted to everyone in my cabin that I was not a christian...I would have stood in front of the whole camp and told them I do not belive that jesus is the son of god, I would have told them all that jesus is not my savior, and i don't think he would have wanted everyone worshiping him instead of going directly to God. I didn't care if I was the only damned person there that wasn't their definition of "saved".......
Anyway I says, I'm sure I don't want to be a christian. My councilor says "can I pray for you?"
I says... "fine....".....(what the hell am I supposed to say?)..
"please god, help naya forgive christians for whatever they may have done to her." (assuming that christians tormenting me was why i didn't want to be one.)
"please god, help naya open her heart to you....." (as if not being a christian meant I hated or didn't believe in God... I think there is a lot to be said for Judaism, Buddhism,...so on ect..)
Then after chapel, out cabins get together and talk about what we learned. I learned a lot of things.... that I probably shouldn't mention....unless I wanted someone to kill me in my sleep.....
Results of the week:
I had a stomache ache the whole time because of the perfectly balanced meals,
The whole left side of my face swelled up because of a canker sore
I was frustrated to tears by the people beating the love of jesus into me
I missed my friends
What I felt:
I felt like having constant panic attacks from being forced into social situations
Crying from frustration
Morally corrupted
beating the love of jesus right out of everyone
I think I'm gonna start my own crazy cult It sounds like fun to brainwash people, I'm sure the people at PennYork had a blast persicuting me and making me feel like a dirty sinner... I'm sorry about ranting... I think i just broke my brain......

GWWWAAAAARGH!!! I'm so freaking glad im back at home. Camp was really bad. I missed my friends!!!

HAHAHAHA

Find out what anime character cliche you are.

001.name: Naya
002.d.o.b.: 11/28/85
003.location: Huddling in a corner.
004.religion: An Athiest in the best possible sense!!
005.occupation: Stalker, Homemaker, Freelance Arist

APPEARANCE
001.hair: mousy blonde..
002.eyes: ....glisten like pools of swamp water..
003.height: 5' 6 "

STYLE
001. clothing: K-Mart special BYOTCH!!!!
002.music: Anything with feeeeling, but not too much feeling..
003.make up: I'm too damn pretty for makeup
004.bodyart: wish I had a heart with wings or somthin..

RIGHT NOW
001.wearing: a lead vest.... and nothing else
002.listening to:
setsunaku ayama ni anata no toiki ni..
sweet whisper.. mitaritai..
sweet whisper...kusuretai..
agaragu omoe wa mi na soko ni nemure..
yume tsumeru made..
mi na soko ni nemure..
003.thinking of: Joeh..

LAST THING YOU...
001.bought: bubble gum...
002.ate & drank: cookies and milk
003.read: YOUR MIND, BITCH!!! then I read Xeno's Blog
004.watched on tv: Kids in the Hall, cause I'm a fucking retard who thinks Canadians are funny...

EITHER / OR
001.club or houseparty: Go to club, get man-bitch, party at my house.
002.tea or coffee: Hot Chinese Tea, English Tea and Iced tea
003.achiever or slacker: Best of both worlds..
004.beer or cider: Both!
005.drinks or shots: I ain't drinking no sissy girl drink!!!
006.cats or dogs: Now would a crazy cat lady need a dog to scare away all her precious babies!?!?
007.single or taken: Woe is me I am single!
008.pen or pencil: pen... nice and permanent.
009.gloves or mittens: Sexay black leather gloves!
010.food or candy: Candy isn't food?
011.cassette or cd: Discos Compactos
012.coke or pepsi: PESI!
013.hard or mild alcohol: Both.
014.matches or a lighter: Lighter
015.sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: sounds like a soap operas... guess thats what they are.. I like the soap operas on univison. I can usually follow the stories better.
016.Rickie lake or oprah winfrey: Ricky Lake has more nut cases, I beleve...

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
001.kill: Neo Nazis, KKK, Sadam Hussein..
003.get really wasted with: my friends.
004.look like: Me.. except hot.
005.be like: me.. except better
006.avoid: people who ask to many fucking questions.

LAST PERSON YOU
001.touched: wish it were Joey
002.talked to: myself
003.hugged: mwa... I don't remember
004.instant messaged: Vrocolaes
005.kissed: .. but I guess that really doesn't count
006.who broke your heart: MWAA HAA! I break all the hearts around here!

WHERE DO YOU
001.eat: In front of people
002.dance: on my computer desk
003.cry: in front of the TV
004.wish you were: with someone...

HAVE YOU EVER...
001.Dated one of your best friends? eh not really..
002.Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? Yeah..
003.Drank alcohol? yep
005.Broken the law? not any really important ones...
006.Ran away from home? Nope
007.Broken a bone? Bone...lol...
008.Cheated on a test? A couple of times
009.Skinny dipped? sort of...
010.Played Truth Or Dare? yep, ran around a tent without my shirt on
011.Flashed someone? one more crack about my brestlessness and I'll show ya... I'll show ya all, you damn communists!
012.Mooned Someone? NEVER!
013.Kissed someone you didn't know? only in my dreams...=(
014.Been on a talk show/game show? Jerry Springer. I found out that I have a long lost brother who turned out to be a hermaphrodite/mexican crack whore..
015.Been in a fight? Tried, but every time i try to beat the crap out of someone they like it... >=(
016.Ridden in a fire truck? I flipped a santa clause off that was riding on one.
017.Been on a plane? someday..
018.Come close to dying? yep.
019.Cheated on your Boy/Girlfriend? only cause he was a fucking bastard.
020.Gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride? my ol' back couldn't hold the weight.
021.Eaten a worm/mud pie? Ate a toasted worm. It was tasteless but crunchy.
022.Swam in the ocean? yep... it was salty. I almost drowned..
023.Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up? I'm falling....falling...falling.... *TWITCH*

WHAT IS...
001.The most embarrassing CD in your collection? Chumbawamba WYSIWYG but I like it anyway.
002.Your bedroom like? Half impossibly clean, half unbearibly messy.
003.Your favorite thing for breakfast? Bagels
004.Your favorite thing for lunch? Bagles
005.Your favorite thing for dinner? Man Beef... nyum nyum..
006.Your favorite Restaurant? Chinese Buffet...
001.A Vegetarian?: someone who is incredibly kind and incredibly crazy.
002.A Good Student?: A good student remembers what she has learned
003.Good At Sports?: HAAAA HAAAA HAAA!!!!!!
004.wakeboarding/snowboarding: sounds fun.. I bet I couldn't do it
005.A Good Singer?: I'm a good singer when I concentrate on it.
006.A good Actor/Actress? A good actor is the opposite of Keanu Reeves but Just as sexy. I could be a good actor.. if I cared..
007.A deep sleeper?: I don't understand what these questions are asking me; am I a deep sleeper, or what is a deep sleeper? I'm not a deep sleeper you can wake me up just by glancing at me.
008.A Good Dancer?: does not depend soley on a choreographer..
009.Shy?: Yeah. Got a problem with it BITCH!!!?!?
010.Outgoing?: Outgoing when all other means fail!
011.A good storyteller?: I'm working at it....
012.Last words?: Just shoot me already..

When days dragging on in solitude... it is always preasureable when having life-imagining moments!!!
I thinking when the days are over from whom having travled returns, hot communication and social times will happily return!
It is always a remembrance to holding company with best peoples! Having happy times and memories. THANKING HANDSOM DOZENS!!! Lets refresh with open air!!!!!! Crowded skys unbecoming when happy social get alongs partake...Mr. Sunshine you am GOLD to me!





Find Out Which Senshi You Are At SailorOrion.com

ybhw2 (11:39 AM) :
How do you do ?
ybhw2 (11:40 AM) :
My name is Tony , and you are -------
Fuzzy Spirit (11:40 AM) :
I'm Naya
ybhw2 (11:44 AM) :
Do you heard of Taiwan ?
Fuzzy Spirit (11:44 AM) :
Yes, I've heard of Taiwan
Fuzzy Spirit (11:45 AM) :
is it a nice place to live?
ybhw2 (11:45 AM) :
Good!
Fuzzy Spirit (11:50 AM) :
Is it crowded there?
ybhw2 (11:51 AM) :
No, it's very hot.

Its pretty funny to listen to Japanese people sing opera in english and latin. It just kills me, bwaaa haa!
Yesterday was pretty unfruitful, nobody wanted to go out and do anything. I really, really wanted some bubblegum....
I think If i spend another day without sunlight, I'll just wither away and die... I swear I'll die....
Speaking of unbearible pain and suffering, I won't be able to see my friend Joey for two weeks. He told me when I'm causing mayhem at camp I should scream out his name. "Will do!" I say and then add " I'll spraypaint your name all over camp." He enjoyed that idea immensly!
You know whats a very lovely thing to do first thing in the morning? Why, cleaning up huge piles of, slimy, foamy, chunky, dog barf. Truly I say it is a blast!!!!!


Which Sanrio character are you? by woofiegrrl

I'm officially a bitch forever, ooh but I aint complaining!

I am the fearsome Dragoon Kain. I like to get crushes on my best friend's girl, but that only bothers them when I'm brainwashed.

Take the FFIV Selector Quiz by R. Highwind


alt="I'm the Engrish Bear!" border=0>

You always want to be clean. Sometimes.

Take the "What weird
obsession are you?" quiz by
Kazzie!

I can't think of a single thing to blog... My brain has been going down the drain ever since I got out of school, plus I just can't stop thinking about my enigmatic friend Joey..
Jesus, I need to get out and breath some fresh air. I need to stand up and straighten out my spine too...

Which Earthbound character are you?

Last night I went to see fire works with James and Xa. I unknowingly spilled rootbeer on the seat and then sat in it.While I watched the pretty fireworks illuminate the night sky, Xa spilled her rootbeer and I sat in that too. When we were getting in the van some little girl pointed at my bottom and was all like, "haa haa you wet your pants," and I'm all like "yeah I did got a problem with it?" Then while riding home we prodded each other with glow sticks. Then when we got home we sat in the road.

Happy 4th. I swam in my grandparents pool all day. We are having the big, annual darrin family yard sale this weekend. If you like usless shit, come on down, theres plenty of it! I wish we had barbeque today. The american armed foreces had a barbeque in afghanistan. They had chicken, steak and crab legs. I had lousy stove cooked hamburgers and boiled hot dogs...Oh well we will proabably have barbeque tomorrow.
I made a zen garden in the silt in my driveway. I'm gonna go and write or draw the rest of the night.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

I hate swimteam it should die. The pool water makes my hair all tangly and it makes me miss watching sunsets.
I watched a movie today where like 10 people commited suicide at the end. It was sad, but It was funny too...
I should have gone to bed hours ago... I'm gonna wake up late again and the whole days gonna be shot.
I hope I get to talk to my friend again soon, he makes me giggle like school girl...

When you see someone worse off than you
you feel a little relieved.
When you see someone happier than you
you quickly become impatient.

But sometimes you
realize just how pitiful you are
and you crash into reality.

What should I think?
What should I say?
You're probably the
first person who has
tried to understand me.

It must be impossible to live
without hurting anyone... -Ayumi 'End of the World'

Be cool! Take the What Do You Want Out Of Life? Quiz

what's your inner flower?

[c] s u g a r d
e w

When I came home I heard the greatest thing ever. Bob got his radio workin and he can get a station from some big city (i dun remember which one it is). There is a radio show called the Opie and Anthony show and they had a Stoners Spelling Bee. They had real stoners call into the show. They had like 5 Stoned people try and spell words. It was the funniest shit I ever heard in my whole life. They had this one guy named Larry who was a Vietnam Vet and he smoked his hash pipe (or so he said) through the whole show. He kept on talking 'bout the shit he smoked in Nam and he kept on arguing with all the other contestants cause they were dumbasses. Then he talked about his guns, his sawed off shot gun in particular, and started this whole thing with people calling in and shooting their own guns off. There were people with handguns and big ol' shotguns and rapid fire guns. It was sweet. I'm gonna listen to it tommorow if I can.

Wow camping during the weekend is always packed with fun and excitement. The majority of my time was spent sitting in the shade applying sunscreen. I got burnt to hell anyway... all over my chubby belly and my face and my chest. I wore a two piece bathing suit for the first time in my life and let me tell you it was really an experience. I swam the width of a big ass lake and found out halfway through that there was a gaping hole right in the ass of the swimsuit. I'm told that the previous owner made the whole by rubbing her arse on some jagged rocks in the middle of some obscure state park--what and interesting way to get off. Anyway, the hole was sown and had spit open again in the middle of the lake (gee thanks alot for passing off defective bathing ware, I love you too.j/k)
So when our little swimming clique got back to land, to get bitched at for almost drowning each other, I had to hold the ass of the bathing suit to keep my white-as-new-fallen-snow butt from peeking out.
Other recreation activitied we participated in was, stealing U.S. property, kayaking, swimming, and throwing mass amounts of toilet paper into the drop toilets. In the afternoon I sat in the shade and watched boats glide along the glassy waters.In the evening I watched the sunset in the name of my good pal and man-muse, Joey Vroucolaes. At night I watched the fireflies flickering about. I dun ever think I've seen so many in my life. They glimmered like sparkles on a black evening gown (isn't that lovely!). In the wee hours of the morning I had to make some wee wee in the drop toilets, and while walking towerds the toilets, I saw the sun come up in the hazy sky as a glimmering ball of light red -- pretty ne? It was pretty out there.... yep.....
-----note: I've higlighted the most important phrases for people who are too lazy to read that huge ass rant, it's like "blah blah blah blah blah blah" DOES SHE EVER SHUT THE @#$*&!# up!!!!!

"Note: the 25 limit is usually reached within a few minutes of opening. So if you want an account, you'll need to sign up at almost exactly 12:00 EST. The clock above tells you the current time according to the YACCS server.
There is currently a limit of 100 new users per day, which is 25 new users every 6 hours."
and I was one of the lucky 25, I sat on my ass 10 minutes hitting the refresh button to get a comments box...oy...so I expect you all to comment oftenly (ha ha right)

My insulting name is Fannyears Jambrain!
What's yours?

eh.. bloody hell... what am I supposed to do. I'm not trying to sever my friendships and cast peoples of into a firey pit of oblivion. I'm not trying to fade away myself, or trying to push anyone away. Lemme give you a hint if you need it its a 7 digit number that you can use to reach me, or if you don't know where the heck I am you can always use my e-mail address to contact me. You can also run up to my house, yeah I know I don't have much personality in person but I'll always try to be hospitable. I'll do a backflip for ya if it would make ya happy, I'll even bake a huge batch of cookies. Hell I'll do both if someone would visit me once in a while.
...And yeah, I know I could try harder being a good friend too. I've been busy with family for the past week. I'm turning over a new leaf tomorrow. Cause I'm free all day (except for swimteam which is no big thing) and I would love to go visit my friends or have someone visit me. Gee.. that would be real swell...

.....an answer to a question posed to nobody and everybody in perticular.. a song that would perhaps be on a certain soundtrack
And so utterly and completly CUTE!!!!!!!!

Dude! there was this really coool little kid who told me he had an X-Box 3 that he bought at Wal-Mart for $75.
He could play CDs and DVDs and MP3s and PVCs and LSDs on it and he could hook it up to the internet and he could play videotapes on it. Wow I wish I had a X-Box 3!!!!!!!! *stifles a demented cackle*.....
....... I really like the Bold button ^.^

I just got back from the old bilogical cesspool that is my family reunion. I havn't talked to anyone my own age for days and I swear it almost killed me. I really gotta get off my ass and socailize, I think perhaps the conversation depravation was good for me though. I think I can probably talk to people easier now. Either that or I'm really hyper. The only things I ate all weekend were either cake or cookies. I'm gonna be a real lard ass if i dun get out to the pool and start swimming.





I am truly passionate.

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.


wow... my blog is becoming and bottomless dump of quiz results... but I just can't help myself somtimes.

A lovely day today was, I had nothing to eat all day and I worked my ass off cleaning this godforsaken hell house for hours upon hours.
I went to swimteam practice and swam free, back, breast and doggie style. I talked to my ol' pal Shadow, bless his heart, he is being a good little porn star as always. Thats pretty much it.

"if you're a girl and your bra is too tight, you're uncomfortable.
if you're a boy and your bra is too tight, i'm uncomfortable."

10

I act like I'm 10.
This test was brought to you by Melissa - No, really.... Take it here.

this explains a lot.......

yeah I know the last poem didn't make sense. But I'm tired of making sense of things cause its quite impossible for me.
I didn't change the shirt that I was wearing last night when I had grass inflicted upon me. It surprises me that I didn't wake up with a half pound of grass boobage clinging to my anti chest, But I most certainly have some grasping desperatly at the thin and tangled rats nest that is my hair. I am convinced of my utter and complete patheticness. I hope It will pass soon. I can't think of anything perky and interesting to write so I'll write somthing later. SAYONARA BITCHESSSSSSS!!!!! bacon

Garbage Poem
My house reeks like garbage. I reek of chlorine and I'm sitting on my ass drawing anime.
It seriously gives me such a sentimental feeling and I don't know why.
It reminds me of the past three or fours years that were just kind of miserable.
Those were the years I doubted myself the most, and I fell in love too often.
oi.. but I'm getting melodramatic...
Still.. I wish I had those days back. There're all faded and I don't remember anything.
I wanna live those days over, and not have to depend on anybody. -Naya

What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

You are Faye Valentine
Beautiful, smart, deadly, and a bit crazy. You were frozen for awhile, dig gambling, think men are babies and owe a lot of money to a lot of people.
Which Cowboy Bebop Character Are You?

well I do think Men are babies and I do dig gambling and I do owe tons of money to ppls.... thats it though...

See what Care Bear you are.

Take the ICQuiz!

What is YOUR Highschool label?

yesterday was fruitful... I went to da mall in Elmira with Xa and Ali, and we walked around aimlessly looking for clothes to buy. I only bought a CD. I really hated the clothes. On the way to the mall we sang all of the songs that were played on the radio, It must have been really annoying to the ppl in the front seat but It was fun. When we went to tops and bottoms the second time, a dude that worked at the store walked in on a lady who was trying somthing on. She was all like "Oooh, boy, I'm so sorry you had ta see my big black ass!. Boy I'm sure you neva want to see somthin like that again!" truth. I'm not sure if Xa saw it. She misses some really interesting things when she is shoppin. Like the guy with the hair.... lol
I think I'm gonna edit the rest of the stuff I have to say... i don't think certain people would would be interested in details...

I had a lot of fun today. I'll write about it tomorrow though....I'm really depressed so I'm gonna go write some depressing poetry and listen to my new CD.

Today was pretty good. I lived through my business presentaion (though I prolly failed), and I had ppls sign my yearbook, Yipeee!
I went to art club too and worked on my "creepy hand" sculpture. I painted it to look like rotten flesh, I forgot it in the bottom of my locker. I bet I open it tomorrow and get scared shitless. Now I gotta go study my geometry so I don't go failing my test. Hey! maybe I'll get some sleep tonight.

"So I turn to you and I say,
Thank goodness for the Good Souls that make life better,
So I turn to you and I say,
If it wasn't for the Good Souls, life would not matter" -'Good Souls" Starsailor

	Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff! Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork!
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

I'm the Jeffrey's clerk!

Take the Jimmy Fallon recurring SNL character quiz here.

created by stomps.









You are Mia
Shy woman.

Take the Which LUNAR Character Are You? Quiz!
by Emystica.

Take the test here!! Made by Jenna and Robbie.

I am Mario. I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. What Video Game Character Are You?

So it seems I am 57% evil and 74% worshipable, wouldn't that mean that If you worshipped me you would be worshipping evil?

74%

I am 74% worshipable! And you? Find out!

I am 57% evil. Take the test :: koolplace.com

I had fun today...even thought I forgot half of the stuff I did after I fell asleep and drooled all over the couch.
I marched in the parade and carried a stupid fake saber. I mean If im gonna carry a weapon in a parade it should at least be a real weapon--and sharp too! I had to wear a black uniform that gave me the most uncomfortable of frontal wedgies. Then I had to stand with the rest of the band fags untill the memorial sevice was ova. Xeno, Jamie and I walked all the way home and we ate a bunch of stuff. Then the village idiots came over and dragged us outside down to the little school. James and Matt ran away to throw rocks at beavers and Shaun followed us around. We went to Jamie's and ate some more stuff. Then we went to sheetz and bought candy cause we hadn't eaten in a whole 10 minutes. Then we all went home cause Xa was tired and hungry and I was tired and hungry too. Then I slept for and hour... I woke up and ate some more. Right now I'm doing nothing, but I can tell ya I am starving... I could really go for some ice cream and pie right now. *stomach grumbles* I need to go clean my room and do some homework... get my mind of food..

Yep I would definitly agree with that. BJ r0x0rs!

Hey, guess
what? I'm a--

What
color Yoshi are you? Come take the quiz!

Yoshi!!!!! ^,^

wtf... laughter is spelled with a "T"
I just noticed that on that one anime personality test that laughter is spelled wrong.
omg.. and its creator didn't notice... thats just CA-RAaay-ZEee!!!!!

Find your emotion!

I wouldn't think anger is my emotion...

You're GLUTTONY! Food is good. You love to stuff yourself, and you may become over weight, if you already aren't. You like to endulge. You're represented by the color orange.

........but I'm a glutton most definitly!!!!

You aren't one to blatantly flirt with guys or be loud about your crushes, but you do like to get asked out like any girl. The first date is a little hard for you because you need to get to know him before giving him your life story, so as long as he isn't pushing you to open up, everything will fall into place. He likes that you seem hard to get!

"....in Switzerland they call it Lord God's Little Fatty...."

wow I love the little personality quiz thingies... I think I should take about a bazillion more!
I'm on the verge of a creative high-- at least I hope so. And I figure out why I get into slumps in the first place.
I have alot of regret.... I worry too much about stuff I've done or not done. I'm gonna get past it and do some very righteous stuff.
I'm not nearly half the person I want to be-- but I'll get there somehow!! ^,^;

Me!

hmmm... havn't posted in a while. Guess its cause I'm falling into some sort of depression related creative slump. I'm really frustrated by people saying they want to kill themselves. There is a new person each week, really...I wish I could do somthing about it, it all just makes my head hurt. All I can do is be there for them I guess...
I dunno why, but I was filled with such an empty feeling. I don't know why but I feel so alone...

I had a really good weekend. I went to the Maple Festival on Saturday and wandered aimlessly with Xa, Bon, Dustin and Shaun.
Me and Xa made some really shitty doughnuts and ate them. We went through the maple display tent numerous times to "sample" various maple candies. Then we bought hot dogs and we oinked them too. We sat on the courthouse lawn and watched loose balloons to fly up into the air. It was quite poetic but I couldn't think up a poem about it.. Anyway. We went to the art show and it made me angry cause everyone could draw better than me. The projects by the rich preppy kids that took art lessons made me the most angry.
I hate those kids i want them all to burn in hell...Bonnie, Xa, Shaun, Dustin and Courtney got in a silly string fight. Xa sprayed some down my shirt so i could have bigger boobies.... It din work... Then when it was time for the parade we lined up along the street with rocks in hand ready to chuck them at the fancy-flagwavin colorguards. We chucked them as hard as we could and they fell down bleeding in the street.. and we laughed..(well the laughing part was true the rest was a lie). Then Shaun, Dustin and I walked up to my house and just chilled. Then we went to the playground and kicked a ball around. D is a good ball kicker.Shaun is average and I really suck at it. Then D went home. Shaun stayed into the wee hours of the morning until I untied him and he made me breakfast. (okay mabye im lying again) I gave Shaun a hug and set him on his merry way. But before he left he had to witness me and Bon get in a dance fight. Bon got me in only 3 moves. I need to work on my dance skillz.
Today I walked about in the sun, I was a nice day. I got a new shirt and its not too big for my anti-tits!!!!! Xa, bon and I climbed in my pool, and scratched obscenities in the sand. Then we sat in the shade untill Bon farted... "thats it, party over!"
I watched Gun Smith Cats... which is pretty funny cause Its an anime set in Chicago... I'm rambling I know.... Well thats it then.

I should have put Dustin on my list, but I din know if he was my friend but I'm pretty sure he is now =)

Is it me, or am I not getting to anyone? Do you think I lack sincerity or just ignore me?
Whenever I say I'm concerned for my friends I really mean it. Otherwise I prolly wouldn't say it.
Bon
Bradley
Chris
Christa
Heather
James
Jamie
Jess
Jessie
Joey
Leslie
Matt
Mike
Rui
Ryan
Scott
Shadow
Shaun
Stephen
Steve
A list of all of my friends in alphabetical order since I think thats fair.
I think I have the best friends in the whole world and I would prolly do anything for them. *sniffle* *wipes away a tear* Truth!

wow, amazing what sleeping in will do for ones mood =). I had two really great dreams! The first one was that a preppy was dissing my friends, so I fiercly shredded his ass with my excellent kung-fu/ karate skills. I even went crouching tiger hidden dragon on his ass! =)!!! That dream was odd because I never fight in my dreams, and I never win. But in that dream I righteously pounded him!! I even made him admit that he was a stupid gay dog fucker to all of his preppy kindreds! If given the chance i would do it in real life, cause no one messes with my friends and gets away with their limbs fully intact! =)
Next dream was really good, It was just me hangin with my ppls like I would like in real life. Everybody just chillin. It was peaceful and everybody didn't hate each other. Yah.. there was respect. It was a nice thought I guess. But a dream is just a dream and I dun think think there is gonna be peacefullness among the masses which is totally uncool...
I think we should all move the west coast and be surfer dudes and dudetts. No problems man, cause we all just wanna worship the sun and sand and wait for the next gnarly wave to roll in.. Yah.. or we could be ravers PLUR! yah know.. If the wolrld were a beach or a rave instead of a stage (like shakespeare or someone like him said "the world is a stage and everyone is mearly players"), then perhaps we could all get along and get away from tha drama. Maybe other planets are like, peaceful and stuff. Maybe mars was like a large Jamaica or maybe like woodstock.. where everyone just grooved to the beat and smoked totally excellent joints. I bet the official international hairstyle of mars was like dreadlocks or mullets.....