Hello Kiddies!
This is what's up.
I'm currently going to school at Edinboro State University. I'm a Graphic Design major in the second semester of my freshman year.
I'm loving every minute of this. I'm loving every minute of this??
To tell the truth, there doesn't seem to be much of a scene here. The town outside of the campus is small, smaller than Coudersport. Which leads me to think that I much prefer Coudy to this place. At least all my friends are there, and everything is in walking distance. I love my nowhere town, what can I say!?
So I feel I'm in the doldrums. The friends I have made.. well.. It doesn't seem to matter if I'm there with them or not. I guess that's what I get for making friends with little or no social skills. I just feel kinda bleh.. I feel kinda outta touch with the kids here. Stupid me for waiting so long to go to college? Maybe its just these dumb kids. Such narcissists... or just preoccupied with their own little worlds? Am I a snob? A little I guess... but still, I'm disheartened by the fact that I've only met a couple of interesting, engaging people here.
Perhaps, I just expected too much....
I miss my Bebbeh. I just don't know what to do with myself. I sometimes think, what am I trying to do? I'm not some Graphic Designer tool. You silly nay-chan, you're no college student.
I guess I am. I have to be. I feel like it's a little unnatural. Sometimes I think that not wanting to be a disappointment is not motivation enough. Maybe, it would be best to just drop out and drop out of everything I know. This is just a passing thought. Structure is what I really need, and after all I'll be better off in the end. It's not like I don' t like art or designing.
I must confess I'm pathologically lazy and school majorly cuts into my leisure time. Maybe the typical mindset for a college student.
I'll figure it out I guess. Michael gives me a lot of confidence. Whenever I get apprehensive about school, I just think of what he went through in college.
If he can do it, surely I can..... right?
2 comments:
You just need to learn to do what feels right for you. I know that might sound stupid and you would think to yourself "but I AM doing what I want", but the problem is that you have to think more deeply about it.
Are you -truly- doing what -you- want. Are you happy? If not, why aren't you happy? Is there a reason you feel you should suffer or endure certain things in life? Do you think you should suffer through college courses that you don't like to pursue something you're unsure of? If you think the overall benefits are what you want, then fine.
If however you feel like you feel like you need to suffer at some point to become stronger and come out on top because you were taught that only through struggle can you achieve greatness, then you're going to be very disappointed.
When you sound like you do, it strikes to me immediately of religious thinking: "We have to endure tragedy and hardships now because it's a test to achieve something that we believe is there based on faith".
This probably doesn't make any sense and if not, then it's easy to ignore. If however, you actually know what I'm trying to say and what I'm getting at, I think you'll realize what you really need to do to find your own happiness.
Post a Comment