Here is a midnight procrastination blog:
My friends, they are very--intelligent, creative, and expressive. (stop laughing)
Most of them don't realize it, anyway; and if they do, they don't utilize their gifts to their capacity.
I'm surrounded with potential poets, artists, and people who are just really good at being a friend. But--I dunno what I'm saying exactly--they kind of squander their talent.
Take me, for example. I believe that I could be a wonderful friend, someone who listens to friends and gives advice, someone to be there for you when things suck.
It really gives me great joy to help people out, but I don't do it. I've never really been there for someone who needs me. I just sit in my dark little corner of the universe and rant about how the world owes me, though I know it owes me nothing. I squander my joy, on sitting around feeling sorry for myself and hating everything in the world.
--Another example of squander would be this really great poet I know. This poet wastes time on writing poems about really assholes who have no heart or intelligence and aren't worth the time it takes to write a poem. Now, I know that being a poet and all its a given that you write how you feel, but--I dunno what I'm saying again-- maybe one should take the time to really realize that the assholes aren't worth it, and that there are more worthwhile things in the world.
--Yet another example of someone who could bless the world with innumerable gifts is that person who has interest in politics, changing the world that thoughtless people abuse. This person has the capability and intelligence to really make a difference but wastes their time in front of some video screen, lamenting for a cheating whorebeast ex.
-----yeah, well I know I'm just some sort of fluffy idealist, though I didn't write this to mould you all into my ideals--I know, who am I to say.... I just wanted to get people thinking about their true potential. What you can do to make your own lives, and the lives of others suck less. I know that if I were a better friend-- if my friends could express themselves in healthy ways--stop burnin ourselves up in our own self-doubt... It would just be a better world for me. I think that my friends are THE most important people/things/alien lifeforms in my life--the only people I can really trust--depend on.
Well I dunno what else to say--I better stop digging myself out of a hole. My New Years Resolution was to better myself, To make my life worth living, to make everything not suck for others. I really feel like I best be making some changes fast, cause sometimes I feel like my mind is all crumbling away.