I just thought:
What I need now is comfort, some gentle persuasion, a hug, a voice of an angel whispering in my ear to give me confidence and tell me everything is okay and that I'm wonderful. Yes, a perpetual angel whispering to me....
But how long could I trust a voice like that. How could I trust somthing that always chants, "you are precious, you are beautiful, brilliant, good....."
When I am lazy, and weak, fearful and an absolute good for nothing. My life has very little value as contributing to society is concerned. How could I trust somthing that would tell me I'm good when I know that I'm really not such an admirable person.
And then I saw myself:
I know this experience inside-out. I'm an angel, or was one, ... Not as heaven or that shit is concerned, but when I whispered my loving chants to him. A voice of a fucking fuzzy spirited idealist, an optimistic Disney Princess.
I always believed in him. And he believes that he is worthless. He didn't believe me after a while just as I know I would stop believing if a voice like that spoke to me. That crazy man who screams that this voice in his head was too good of company for him.
Goddamnit....
were I a fucking demon, I would always be with you...
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( no more internet romance for me!! AH HAA HAA)