I'm your friend, whats this"something else i have created around me" stuff?
Ah, I'm a figment of your imagination? Well you could just as easily be a figment of mine.
I digress-- I'm being silly...
I understand this whole, haunting, undead childhood memories thing--such a pain.
Its not funny, but it causes me to look at pain, and sadness in such a twisted way, It makes me laugh. Thats how I keep my sanity, I just laugh...
I remember reading somewhere this lady said somthing along the lines of: "Its hard to develop a personality when you have to keep remembering to forget." You have to stray away from your own imagination because of what nasty little things haunt it. Its hard to stay true to yourself when you have to deny everything else around you and everything that reminds you of somthing awful...----I don't know exactly how that all went but maybe you can formulate some vague Idea of what I'm talking about. The first quote is exact though, I think its most important. Anyway, this lady is a successful cartoonist, in spite of the horrible things that plagued her mind.
What I'm trying to say here I guess is to look for somthing better. I'm trying to look forward to the future, because it must be better than whats behind me, at least its somthing to hope for.
You can also be constructive with the shit that was thrown your way. I use my experiences to try and help people no matter how boring and confusing I think my advice may be. I also put all of my good thoughts on paper so I have somthing to look at to remember good things.
I don't know what else to say. Sometimes I just think I sound sooooo fluffy.. myarrr.
If anyone has troubles you can talk to me. Just like I'd like to talk to you. Yeah, we can trade troubles like baseball cards.