Every day, since Easter, I have jogged the entire length of the "old railroad grade". I never imagined that I could ever run that far. Now I'm doing it every day. It's just amazing!!
It's like I woke up one day and the angels blessed me with stamina.
Running off on my own gives me plenty of time to think..

Today I got called into work, right as I was about to run out the door for my daily jog. I was all warmed up and everything, to go work at subdungeon. I was planning to go with my family to wherever this morning, but I couldn't, so they left me in the dust.
Though we usually go to stinky old thrift stores and the increasingly unimpressive Olean mall, we always have a ton of mischevious fun.



This is one of my Momma's "artistic installations"
at the Hornell Salvation Army.
This one she calls "Adoration of the Barbeque".

Bon is having a species identity crisis.


This one is funny because Bon was scared that spiders or bugs or
bad smells would get all over her, and she was screaming
"GAHH, TAKE THE PICTURE NOW, DO IT NOW, EEEEEE!".

It's the perfect time of year to commune with nature.

I'm in the middle of an e-bay frenzy.
It all started a few days ago when Brian decided to generate some income by experimenting with sellin' shit on the internets. Ol' Tom Darrin found out about this and encouraged Brian to sell Tom's antiques. It kinda seems like they business partners now. At this moment they are taking dozens of pictures of the junk they expect will make them hundred-aires. I can't go five minutes without Brian runnin' in here and looking on the computer to check the pictures he just took of ceramic Disney figurines. Or checking up on how the car speakers, and Yu-Gi-Oh cards are selling.

Today I feel strong, like a woman of steel. Like I could do anything.
...maybe I should do something.
I hope this isn't just the Naya of the day. Usually something in me says to not indulge in feelings of power, or any feeling of confidence. Thats I'll just sorely dissapoint myself when I say or do somthing arrogant. That I don't deserve to feel good about myself because I'm stupid.
Oy! what I wouldn't give to be smart, and quick and rational. But anyway...
When I was cleaning my old room today, I found some of my crazy ol scribblings from back in honors english. I wrote this question: "Is introspection selfish?". Somthing like that.
Well is it? Is it like vanity? Is it true that the more time you spend looking at yourself in the mirror the more vain you are? The more time I spend blogging the more obsessed with myself I become? Yeeeeeck!
Vanity, Vain, vane, vein. I might be better of not asking myself these questions.

I'm all sorts of confused. Like my sense of direction is all nutzed up. It's like the phenomenon where a housecat, used to living in one location all its life and then is relocated to some new and far away location, will think it still lives in the old place. The cat will try to walk itself back home, sometimes hundreds of miles, using its instincts of direction. Yeah thats what I must feel like.
I feel like my whiskers are all twisted.
Slowly though I'll get a hold of my senses. Right now I need to take a long, thoughtful survey of my soul and find out what it is that I need, and what I need to do right now.

I don't have the internet at home amymore because our computer does not have a wireless card. We don't have a wireless card anymore because Brian had to give it back to his boss when he just decided not to go to work anymore. In most instances this is a bad idea, to just not go to work anymore. In reality though, it wasn't work Brain was going to, but slavery: working from 8am to 11 pm 6 days a week and maybe, maybe getting paid, $120.00 a week. Now he can look for a new job, or be my little house husband. Now I have the responsibility of paying rent.
Life is crazy, so I think I should serously start planning for the future. I dunno what to do.

It feels like my winds are full of sail...blargh.
mid-afternoon loneliness, head ringing with silence.
confession: I have 17 rolls of toilet paper.
That's 16 and one half more than you probably have.
E-Harmony dot com, because your naturally evolving relationship is not good enough.
E-Harmony dot com, because you can't possibly meet your one true love in your own hometown.

If I had known that the soup cans had easy-open tabs on them I would have eaten them sooner.
I'm starving.

Chicken and Biscuits is the best thing to happen to me in a long time.
I wanna rub warm biscuts all over my naked body.
I wanna climb the nearest water-tower and spraypaint "chicken and biscuits forever".
I totally had a Chicken and Biscuit-gasm.
--And just when I think things can't get better, I find berry blue-lemonade kool-aid in the cupboard. I'm drinking it right now..
"Ohh Yeah!"

I Love Brian Lucas.
Brian must be my soulmate because he knows what Panda Bears have to say.
Brian is the cutest kind of cute that there is, you can't comprehend just how very cute that cute is because no mortal (except for me) has ever witnessed that much cute.
Brian is the rational voice in my head that figures out things I just don't get.
I love the silly songs he sings to me, and just how well he speaks "M'ercan".
I love how he sticks his tongue out everytime he sniffles.
It's silly how Brian is as stubborn and cranky as I am (though he doesn't realize it most of the time).
I just love to be with him, and walk around and drive around with him.
I like to have someone to care for and to be concerned about, I never have to feel lonely.
He makes me feel happy, and secure, and loved.
He makes me feel good about myself when I can't think of one thing that is good about me.
He is my friend, and he is my lover, he is my reading buddy, and my swimming buddy.
Brian buys me cookies and video games and things to keep me happy and fat.
Brian will do anything to make sure I'm happy, and feel loved.
I love Brian's silly cheshire cat grin, and his whiskery face so full of love, and whiskers.

I'l l release that emo kid I keep inside.
---
I'm not nice. I don't know how to be nice, and happy and giving.
I don't like that I don't get attention for being everyone's angel.
I don't have much of a personality, and I never know what to say.
I'm just distant, just a spectator-- a commentator saying much too little much too late.
Nobody really likes me.
I just feel too stupid to identify with smart people.
Too irrational for rational people, to un-imagineative for free-thinkers.
Too boring for people who party, too mischievious for straight-edge-ers.
Too quiet to be normal.
My opinions don't matter to anyone.
I'm too pretentious, too silly, and (obviously) extremely forgettable.
If I dissappeared tomorrow I wouldn't leave behind anything that couldn't be replaced.
---
I don't feel any sadness it writing this, is it because it's not really how I see myself? Maybe I just accept things the way they are.
---
I'm a little empathetic, and somewhere in my heart i'm a little brave too, and I'm kinda knowledgable about things. I'll grow up, I'm the only person I know who has to conciously work on growing up, but I will be something good. I'll even work on doing what I say I'll do.
Well what choices do I really have?
I can't think of anything else to say.
I'll put the emo kid away.

I got a Hello Kitty Juicer.
What do you got?
You ain't got shit if you ain't got a Hello Kitty Juicer.
..bitches

Ha Ha, Fooled you!
I'm not really moving at all.
Well maybe not for a long time.
I have no idea, I thought I was, things change.
I'm always the last one to know about everything.
The silly thing is though I told everyone I was moving to Bradford.
Oopsy. I'm just anxious to get out of Coudersport and experience not-Coudersport things.
It's probably best to stay where I am. This is a really fucking sweet place Brian and I got here.
I should be counting my blessings.

Okay, it looks like I'll be moving much sooner than I thought. As soon as we find a suitable apartment and get a car we're outta here.
...But now that I think of it, that could be a very long time away. Wish I knew what the hell was going on.
Right now I can't say that I care about moving away from here, but then again it may just hit me hard later on.

Sorry for misleading you, well I guess I really didn't lead you anywhere because it doesn't seem I'll be moving to Galeton after all. You see, I spend about 4 hours in Galeton for the Fireworks each year. The hole we were considering was the apartment above Fox's and it is ugly and reeks of pizza.
It seems that I could be moving to the glorious city of Bradford now.
There is a 90% chance of me staying in Pennsylvania. So, I guess, my future is still pretty uncertain.

So it seems I might be moving. To a place that reeks of pizza. To Coudersport 10 years ago.
I MIGHT be moving in less than three months. I really don't have anything better to do. I think I'll be happy there, despite the fact that where I'm going lacks, recreation, and social diversity . Actually I can't say for sure what is good or bad about this place because I never spent more than one night a year, at the most, a this place. Got a clue what I'm talking about? Probably not.
But I'll be sure to fill you in as the circumstances develop.

Fortunately, there was no crap on my clothes.

Note on the Refrigerator 2-7-06:
Naya * =)
When doing the wash please do a full load.
Also the dog took a major dump in the basement and I cleaned it up but some got on your basket, I am not sure if it got on your clothes but I cleaned the basket the best I could so be careful-Bonnie

I got a cell phone

1-814-558-9880

So call me.

Hooray for frequent updates.
Not much to tell except I've been living under a rock.
Oh yeah and I did somthing I promised not to do, I got my hair cut and dyed blonder. So am I out of the pretty hair club? Well I think its beautiful, best haircut number one!
Brian and I got an x-box 360 and Dead or Alive 4.. I think its 4, its pretty but I think I like me some Tekkin5 better. I bought a $30.99 Nine Inch Nails special edition disk set as a reward for all of my hard work at Subdungeon. Oh, look at me bragging like a preteen about how much money I spent on my All American Rejects T-Shirts and my brand new Vans. I'm just not used to spending so much money on myself, I'm so thrifty and cheap.
Anyway Subway is the best job ever except when I have to assemble subs in a line like mass production in a factory, start to finish over and over and over when it gets really busy.
I don't feel like asking, "are you sure you need ANOTHER footlong sub fatty?" Like I wanted to say at Original Italian Pigfest. "Yeah, another footlong but smother it in ranch dressing and bring out 50 more hot wings while your at it." People that come in to Subway seem to have more conservative appetites. Speeking of piggies I'm trying to loose a few pounds by eating healthy and exercising, let's all count together I've already made it one and a half days, If I actually attempt to go to the gym tonight we will call that Two days. Also I have to remember to not drink soda at work tonight, and to not smother my sub in mayo and bacon, pepperoni, ham or salami. No Italian BMTs! And certainly no cookies.