--Bitter
why do all my friends find themselves on a path to self destruction, self-depreciation or depression. Does it just come with the territory, having friends on the very bottom rung of the social ladder?
Its it strange coincidence.. I don't know. Its so strange.. I know I have my problems too. There are very few of my friends I can name that haven't either been taken to drug-rehab, to the psychiatric ward, to juvenile hall, to foster homes, or dropped out of school. I also can't name many who haven't tried to kill themself, or worse.. I know some that were into hard-core drug use.
Is it that I make friends with troubled people? Could I be troubled too?
I don't know if anyone can understand how lonely it is when your new best buddy just dissapears. When you find out that they have been in a psychiatric ward or drug-rehab.
I wonder was there anything I could have done to influence them to stop.
I think about it often. I am too weak, boring, stupid for anyone to really listen to?
I think I'd have to scream in your face for you to understand, but even then.. I'd just be screaming. That wouldn't accomplish anything. I just want all my friends to know that they torture me sometimes. I can't make them be happy I can't make them hear me. Oh, but if only they would listen! ...listen just for a while... there is help... just like there are mechanics for cars... like technical support when you screw up windows.
I don't know what else to say I'm so frustrated with everyone's attitudes now. They just don't realize their significance in my life. Your hope is my hope, without my friends i have nothing to hope for. I struggle with the same demons, i know.. to see my friends lose to them is discouraging to me.