You ever think that some people are really fuck ups? (When I say "some people" I mean me. I dunno but I think maybe I've just been disillusioned. I believed that everyone has some redeemable characteristics. But I'm beginning to think that I'm a fuck up. I can't remember a time when I've done somthing right the first time. Its just so odd to me... that everything I can think of points to one indellble fact that I am a screw up. And for some odd reason it all falls upon me now. I guess I have some responsibilities to fulfill as a senior. I have to start on a path to some shining destiny...lol... but I feel mystified as to where I should start and what I should be doing now. (well actually, I know I should be doing my homework but uhh...) Somehow I don't think I can do it by myself. In fact I'm quite afraid of what the future will bring. I know I shouldn't be because fear only breeds more smelly fear. I know that the future can only be better than the past.
Back to what I was saying about fuck ups. I need to do somthing right. I know probably it won't be on the first try but I have too keep on doing it until I get it right. So I might still be a fuck up to some extent, but a fuck up who has done somthing right, somthing good. Thus, having done somthing right, I will have restored my belief that there is somthing redeemable about everyone. If someone as weak and fruitless as me can do somthing right then anyone can.